Thoughts

Well, I am back in the office after having a few days off, and it is time to play "catch-up". I am finding it increasingly more difficult to stay away from work when I am off. It is so easy to justify it because I am "working for the Lord". But I have seen enough ministers get burnt out to know that is not a road I want to walk down. But no matter how much I realize that, I find myself getting frustrated at some point on my days off that I should have finished this, or I should have done that, or I should meet with that person about that thing.
I don't want to give a wrong impression, because I love my family and absolutely love to spend time with them, but I think I sometimes struggle with giving them my full attention because I am preoccupied with something going on in the church. Jessi is really good at picking up on this and quickly notices when I have "checked out" because I am thinking about work. Sometimes all it takes is a phone call from someone that reminds me about a situation or a meeting, and I spend the rest of the night working on it in my mind.
So I tried something new the past couple of days. I tried to not answer my cell phone every time it rang, especially if it would interrupt a family activity (like dinner). It almost drove me nuts to not answer the phone and see what what going on, but I managed to do it most of the time. Then later I would just check my voicemail and return the call. I did that for the past few days and really, it just made me feel disconnected with Freedom Life. I don't like that feeling, even for a day. I don't care if it is a holiday or a day off...I love my church and I feel so blessed to serve as the pastor of my church. I want it to be the best possible church that it can be, and I want to know that I am doing everything that I possibly can to contribute to that. It greatly aggrivates me when pastors ask so much of the people in their congregation and aren't willing to lead by example. At the same time, it also aggrivates me when I see pastors who will sacrife their relationship with their wives and children "for the sake of the call". So I guess having to learn the balance between those two is a growing process for me. I guess at the end of the day I can find my comfort in the reality that God is gracious and so is Freedom Life Church. And my family, well they have learned to put up with me :)

Please don't call me Oprah

I was thinking the other day about the fact that a lot of what I have learned about ministry, God, culture, etc. comes from other people. I love to learn and study what is going on around us. I try to learn as much as I can from "those who have gone before us." I believe that much can be learned about what to do and what not to do by gleaning from the experience of others. Much of this has come from reading various books, magazines, websites, and the Bible. Often the books that I pick up to read are books that I have heard from a friend and they end up changing my life. So here goes...I figured that each month I will try to list one of the books that I am reading so that whoever is reading this can go pick up a copy and dig even deeper into the brain of what makes Freddy tick. Who knows, if enough people are interested we could even have a monthly meeting where we get together and discuss the book of the month.

So here goes, the current books that I am reading are First Things First by Stephen Covey (about efficient time management), The Lombardi Rules by Vince Lombardi Jr. (about leadership), and I just picked up a copy of Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen. This is the book that I want to highlight for January.

I love Joel Osteen. He is such an encouragement to me. I don't get to watch his services too often, but every time I have seen him preach I think, "Man, this guy is on point. He is down to earth, excited, and preaches from the same 'faith' perspective that I do." I would love to model my ministry after this guys. Now, I realize that God has called us all to something different, but I just greatly admire his humility, authenticity, and practical applications of the Bible. I believe that is why God has exalted him to be the pastor of the largest and fastest growing church in America...because he knows who Christ is and who Joel isn't. But he also knows who We are in Christ. That's what I'm talking about Willis! So anyway, that's what this new book is all about. The subtitle is "7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential." You can find a copy of it on the Best Seller rack at any local bookstore. Barnes and Nobles, and Books-A-Million have it on sale for 30% off right now...making it $14.00. So anyway, that is the book that I will be devouring this month, and who knows...it might even turn into a future sermon series (like The Epic did).

If you just absolutely love to read life changing books, here is a list of some others that have greatly impacted me over the past few years.....
Wild at Heart by John Eldredge(what true manhood really is)
God's Armor Bearer Volumes 1 & 2 by Terry Nance (serving God by serving others)
21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership by John Maxwell (effective leadership)
anything by John Maxwell (leadership)
An Unstoppable Force by Erwin McManus (doing church in the postmodern generation)
The Cost of Discipleship by Dietrich Bonhoeffer (obedience to Christ)

So anyway...this month...Your Best Life Now by Joel Osteen...we'll see how this goes. Just don't call me Oprah. haha

What dreams may come

Recently I have been having a lot of vivid dreams. In fact, I will wake up about two or three times a week because my dreams are so intense. I have always dreamed a lot, but over the past few months they have become more and more intense. Sometimes they are random and seem to have nothing to do with reality, but recently I have been dreaming more and more about Freedom Life.
Whenever I dream about the church I always am excited when I wake up. These dreams seem to give me a fresh dose of excitement about what God is calling us to do and who He is calling us to be. Sometimes these dreams are about a situation and sometimes they are set in a worship service and God starts doing incredible things. Regardless of the specific dream one thing stays consistent...I always wake up thinking, WOW!
A lot of times I will dream about things that I mentioned to people in a conversation earlier that day as a, "What if". But in my dream I will be experiencing the "What if" that I was talking about that day as if it was reality. For that moment in dreamland I am living in the world of that "what if" and I get to experience it like it was already reality. In these dreams it is so neat to interact with people and see what has happened and how they were effected by the "what if" that I casually discussed with a friend that day.
When I experience these glimpses into the "What if" I often wake up more excited than ever. Sometimes I can't get it out of my mind. Then the question comes as to wheather or not that was God showing me something through a dream, or the pasta I ate right before I went to bed. For me the answers lie in the results. If that dream that I had were to become a reality would it honor God? Would peoples lives be forever changed? Would the vision of Freedom Life Church be furthered or hindered? Then the next question is, "Well then what is stopping it from becoming reality?".
I have learned to not make decisions about God's will based on circumstances. In fact, I probably don't consider circumstances enough. But that is where my wife and friends come in. They help me focus on the realistic steps necessary to accomplish the unrealistic goals. The way I see it, we have a God that requires us to go beyond the realistic in so many ways, so why would it suprise us that the things He calls us to do can often seem "unrealistic". I once heard a man say that if God is truely calling you to do something it is something that is going to be too big and too difficult for you to do without Him. Amen brother. Sounds like fun, where do I sign up.
The last thing I want at the end of my life is to reflect on it, as I sit in my worn out recliner, look at Jessi and say, "Well, there weren't any suprises. We played it safe and secure and we coasted through life just fine. We weren't a bother to anyone and no one bothered us. We lived our content little lives just how we wanted and look at all we have to show for it...a house, two good kids, a dog, and an RV."
No, when I am old and gray, I want to look at my beautiful wife and say, "Wow Jessi, could you ever have imagined that God was going to let us be a part of all of that? Would you ever have dreamed that following Him would have been that amazing of an adventure. Why are we sitting hear talking about it...let's go out and do it again. Grab my Bible, we are late for Bingo.

If you are curious about what kind of dreams I have, just hang around the church for a while, and you will see! They will become reality in God's time.

That's what it's all about

This past Saturday night at church I almost started crying during the worship time. Normally I find myself very distracted during the worship by things like whether or not the music is too loud, or if the mix sounds good, or if the visitors will know where they can take their kids, or if the bulletins are finding their way to people's hands. Then sometimes the a/c or heater isn't working just right, or the area in the back seems cluttered with things we should have put away. And most Saturday nights, when the worship has started I am still trying to go introduce myself to that visitor that I didn't get a chance to say hi to yet. Sometimes I find myself focusing on so many things that are not as important as worship. I get so wrapped up in wanting to make sure that everyone is going to have a good worship experience that I lose focus of worshiping myself. Part of that is because I want everything to go good. Part of it is because we have a small group of people doing lots of things. Take James for example. This past week James got to the church and was in the sanctuary with the band as they rehearsed (he does the slides on Saturday nights). Then he went out and worked on the lightbulbs outside ( he is our Building and Grounds Coordinator). When I got to the church I told him that I had a Powerpoint presentation I needed him to run through during the sermon, and that I would be showing a video clip (that he would also be responsible for). After that, I asked him if there was any way that he could get the sign re-hung (the wind ripped it down during the week) before everyone started showing up. He politely complies and does a great job of doing everything that I throw at him. But that is just part of it. I think we are always vulnerable to getting so wrapped up and busy doing what we do that we forget the reason we are doing it. Well this past Saturday I was reminded. I was brought to a stop during the worship and all of my distractions were quickly silenced. I was standing in the back, trying to focus on worshiping Jesus, not the soundboard, when Jeremy said, "Feel free to lift your hands to God as we sing" or something like that. As I looked around the room I saw people so free in worship that they began closing their eyes and singing to God. I saw people begin raising their hands high to the Lord as the sang out loud the praises of who He is. Some of these people were first time visitors, some were new believers, and some were Core Team members. It didn't matter who it was, what mattered was that they were all joined together, "lifting holy hands" and worshipping God with all that they were. Now I do not think that you "have to" lift your hands or clap or do anything specific to worship, but what I saw was people who didn't care about anything but worshipping God and singing for joy to him. I was humbled and encouraged and overwhelmed all at once. That is why we exist. That is what it is all about...and it was happening all around me. Regardless of what level the music was or wasn't set at, regardless of what the temperature of the room was, regardless of how "polished" or "smooth" the service was...it was happening. Kinda put things in perspective for me. It is so easy to lose sight of what is truely important sometimes. I thank God that the people of my church teach me so much all the time. I thank God that Saturday night Freddy's little distracted mind was hushed by the voices and expressions of a room full of people who were abandoned to God in worship, and would not be distracted. That was awsome!