The Pressure Cooker

Wow, things are fun right now. Trying to finish up my degree (finally), means wrapping up 4 classes by Nov. 12th. Launching a second service this weekend. Continuing the process of constituting in January. Remembering to be a dad. Remembering to be a husband. Baby due any minute (literally). Leaving in the morning for a two-day church development conference. Coordinating details with Lee, our missionary in El Salvador. Making sure the website continues to get closer to completion. Planning out next sermon series (my favorite part). And the truth is, I love every minute of it!

I guess that is why I was a waiter for four years. Nothing like the rush of having a full section of tables, all sat at different times, all wanting extra salad dressing, or napkins, or a refill. I loved those days. I would get to work, blink, and be on my way home with a pocket full of tips.

The only thing that I don't like about chaotic times is that it often costs somebody something. Whether it means not such a good grade on that exam that I just crammed in, or a missed event at my son's school (the Big "P" Party was the first event I have missed at his school), or not seeing my wife from when I leave in the morning till the next morning. Somewhere, something or someone suffers. I guess as I grow I realize that the urgency addict in me must give way to the responsibility of further preparation and long term planning in order to find balance and consistency. I don't want to get to work, blink, and all of a sudden my kids are getting married or going off to college or something.

The dangerous thing is that so much of what I do is so easily justified as "doing God's work", and I find myself fighting the urge to check my email one last time before I go to bed.

In the midst of this chaos, I find a soft spoken Savior whispering of His love for me. He tells me to focus, to listen, to be still...to wait, to pray, to laugh.

This is when I walk away from my computer and go play with my kids for a little while. This is when I turn on some worship music and just lose myself in a moment with Someone much bigger than me. This is when I go outside, get on the lawnmower and cut God's grass, Ipod cranking some "Blessed Be the Name" in my ear as I enjoy the wind and the fresh air. My son Eli sees me cutting the grass and runs outside to join me. And there we are...a father with his son in his lap, riding around on a lawnmower built for one, laughing as we each put one earpiece of my IPOD in our ears while trying to maintain a straight line. And there we are...a Father with his son in his lap, riding through life as one, laughing as we commune together while He helps me to maintain a straight line.