Purpose Driven Bedtime

So last night I couldn't sleep. Random little known fact about Freddy...I hardly ever sleep very well, but I dream every night, and remember most of them. Kind of a contradiction I know, but that's how I roll. So I am sure someone in blog world is psychoanalyzing that right now...hehe.

Ok, so last night...I went to bed around midnight. Gave up on trying to fall asleep around 1:20 and decided to turn on my tv and see what my tivo had recorded. Well, there was a NatGeo documentary on there about kids trying survive L.A. gang life. It started with the story of a guy who got shot by a rival gang and how all of the people at his funeral were sad, but also very nervous that a drive-by shooting would take place during the funeral. Talk about rough. Well, it went on to say that even though he was in his twenties, he left behind 5 children. It showed his oldest daughter (probably around 9), looking into the casket and saying goodbye. Tear-jerking is an understatement! Then it went into the story of how this murder sparked a gang war that led to over 30 people being killed over the next couple of months. It showed how gangs are multi-generational and how kids grow up hating rival gangs because of violence inflicted on their loved ones early in life.

This made me think about the five kids the murdered gang-banger left behind. They will grow up knowing that a rival gang member killed their father. They will grow up continuing the cycle of hatred and violence that they have known all of there life. What really hit me the hardest was the last 30 seconds of the documentary. It went back to the funeral that began the documentary and showed the dead mans youngest child, a little boy about 3 years old, standing by the casket saying, "Let me see my daddy. I want to see Daddy!" When the family member near him picked him up, the child began saying over and over again, "Wake up! Daddy, wake up!" When this didn't work, he began shouting it louder, "Daddy, please wake up! Wake up Daddy!" Watching this broke my heart, as I considered how the memory of that moment would shape and mold that young child's life. After crying and praying for that child for a little while, God brought something to my mind....my children.

God reminded me that I also am writing a legacy on the hearts of my children every day. I got out of my bed and went into my boys room and just watched them sleep for a little bit. As I looked at Ty, I realized that he looked about the same age as the little boy in the documentary. I went to his bed and just laid my hands on his little head and began praying for him, and for the future God has for him. I thanked God for blessing me with the opportunity to help mold and prepare Ty for the calling that God has placed on his life. At one point Ty woke up, saw me praying for him, patted my arm and said, "Hi Daddy, I love you," then rolled over and fell back asleep. That is a little moment that I will remember for the rest of my life.

After I prayed for Ty, I went to Eli's bed and did the same thing. He also woke up at one point and said, "Hey dad, thanks for praying for me" and also rolled over and went back to sleep. LOL. Then I went into Kaelin's room. As I prayed over her, she laid there sleeping. Just as I was finishing, she opened her eyes, grabbed my arm, pulled me down for a hug and said, "I love you dada", rolled over, and went back to bed.

As I walked back to my bed, God whispered to my heart, "This is the most important purpose you have in life...to prepare these children for the plans I have for them. What I will do through them will go beyond anything you can imagine, and far extend everything I will do through your ministry. They are the most important ministry I will ever call you to. You are writing a legacy on their hearts that will impact more than you can imagine." I became very emotional as I considered the three little gifts that were sleeping across the hall, and that God considered me faithful enough to have this role in their life. Then God said to me, "This is the memory that they will grow up remembering, that they woke up and their dad was praying over them as they slept!" I hadn't considered that until that moment. After that, I went back to my room and fell right to sleep....until Ty came crawling in my bed half an hour later...and then Eli came in around 3:30am complaining that his legs were hurting (growing pains). I guess we all still get growing pains of different kinds. So I gently rubbed his legs until he fell asleep...just as God had gently rubbed my heart until I fell asleep.